Is It Possible to Enjoy Public Speaking, Even If You've Always Hated It?

If you've spent years telling yourself that you hate public speaking, the idea that you might one day enjoy it can seem fairly unlikely. But confidence isn't something you're either born with or you're not, and enjoying speaking doesn't mean becoming an extrovert or suddenly loving being the centre of attention.

The right presentation training course can change the experience because it gives you practical ways to prepare, structure what you want to say and manage the moments that usually create anxiety.

In this video, I explore what I've seen change when people stop trying to become a 'natural presenter' and instead learn techniques they can rely on.

Because enjoying public speaking doesn't necessarily mean wanting a bigger stage. Sometimes it simply means reaching the point where nerves no longer stop you from taking opportunities you want.

Read: Why Enthusiasm Matters More than Charisma

Video Transcript:

 Is it possible to ever enjoy public speaking or presenting, especially if you're somebody who understandably suffers from nerves or maybe even anxiety, or just doesn't feel comfortable wearing that Brand Champion hat? 

You're not alone. But I would like to think that actually, even if you don't enjoy it, you will be able to feel more comfortable, feel more naturally you and get to the point where you feel confident in what you're saying, how you're presenting and the value that your audience is taking away.

I don't know if you've ever watched somebody or listened to them and thought to yourself, 'I wish I could sound like that. They seem so natural, so articulate, so confident.'

I've trained hundreds and hundreds of people around the world, and even when somebody says to me, 'Oh, you know, I don't mind presenting. I can stand on stage and I feel quite comfortable if I'm in control,' that person might, when it comes to a journalist interview, feel just as nervous and just as anxious as the rest of us because the agenda is no longer theirs and they're worried about that question that might catch them out.

But even those most confident of people, who can make things seem effortless, sometimes lose their train of thought. Sometimes what's left with the audience is that, whilst they may have enjoyed watching them or felt comfortable because that person was articulate and confident and seemed to be enjoying themselves, if I were to ask them what the key message was and what that person was trying to help them understand, I wonder if there may have been a disconnect.

Being confident and being natural doesn't necessarily mean that you're giving your audience what they need.

So I'd like you, first of all, to write down what you hate about public speaking or what makes you feel uncomfortable.

I'm going to give you three feedback quotes that I got from participants over the years, just three that jumped out that I thought would be relevant today.

Number one, a client services team member from a cybersecurity company wrote in a workshop pre-questionnaire:

'I'm naturally socially awkward and I hate talking to strangers. Something I work hard on every day in my day-to-day work. Just a typical geek, I guess.'

Now, this person in the workshop itself, when I was working with them, was a brilliant subject matter expert. That 'typical geek' lent itself perfectly to explaining how things work, bringing enthusiasm to the topic and really knowing what ticked the boxes of their customers.

That was all great. What was holding them back was how they felt about the situation, not what they could give.

So, in that instance, it's more about managing that anxiety and giving them the confidence, with the boundaries and the frameworks that can be super helpful to keep you focused and keep you steady.

The next person, a Director of Technology and Innovation, wrote:

'It's not my first choice of how to spend my time, and I worry about how I will perform given I'm representing my employer. But I do see the need and I haven't messed up yet.'

I spoke to them in the workshop about the pressures that you can feel under when you're stepping into the limelight of representing your organisation. It might be in your job description and you might not mind presenting if you own the agenda, but you do feel worried about the question that comes left field, or that person who might be slightly negative trying to catch you out, or any of those instances where, when you leave that room, you then over-question: 'Did I do a good enough job? Are people going to be happy with my performance?'

Dealing with that pressure is actually about focusing more on what's important, as in: what are the audience going to take away? What's the value I'm giving them? How can I help them take away the thing that will matter to them most?

Well, first of all, I need to explain right from the beginning, whatever the engagement, what it is I'm looking forward to discussing and sharing so that I capture that imagination and attention straight away.

Then, at the end, I just need to give them some level of signpost of: this is what I've enjoyed talking about and this is what I'd like you to take away.

And then the thing that we all remember, if you think back to the things that you've remembered, usually it's the story someone's told because it was humorous or it resonated. 'Oh yeah, that sounds like me or my situation.' So having a story really helps.

Actually, these three are the Three Golden Moments. You may have heard me talk about them before, but they're the times we listen most.

But with that person who felt the pressure of responsibility to represent the organisation and their employer correctly, I actually got them to focus less on the pressure and their employer and more on what they wanted to share and what mattered to them.

The third person, a Head of Supply Chain Solutions, wrote:

'I don't particularly enjoy it, but I'm happy to do it. And I think I should do more of it.'

They recognise the responsibility of the role, that we buy into people. We don't want to just read words on a website or have an email. We want someone to bring some personality to something and give that personal experience.

So when I said to them, 'Oh, but you said you're happy to do it.'

'Oh yeah,' they said, 'only because I know I need to and I should do it. So I'm kind of resigned, but I don't particularly enjoy it.'

I asked why.

They said, 'Because I don't know what other people are thinking. I don't get the feedback if I'm presenting, or whether somebody's interested, like I might in a conversation.'

So actually, it's the presentation and the public speaking that they didn't enjoy as much as the one-to-one conversation, where somebody could immediately come back and ask if they didn't understand something.

So for this person who was presenting, yes, still having the frameworks, but thinking super hard about what they enjoyed in a conversation. And most of the time it was the fact they could be natural.

So taking away a script, having just some bullet points to guide them, kept them on track in that presentation, kept the audience onside because they weren't waffling and it was really signposted throughout that presentation. But because it was bullet-pointed and not scripted, they could be natural. They could just say on the day, 'Yeah, this is what I'm thinking of, and these are the words I want to use.'

When actually, beforehand, they were thinking it had to be really rigid and it had to be a performance, like a Steve Jobs walking around a stage. I know that's not a current example, but it's the one that they gave at the time. They thought they looked a bit stiff, and so they over-worried about it.

But I would say, actually, if you have the tools and you attract the right attention in knowing what you want to say and how you're going to phrase it, how you're going to share it and what's the story you're going to tell, those training tools and the frameworks you can lean on can help you stay focused so that you're not overthinking the night before.

There's not much to ruminate on after the event either. The more structure you give yourself, and then the freedom to be you on the day, the more you might, over time, begin to enjoy things.

And actually, I wrote a blog article about why enthusiasm matters more than charisma. So, if you're concerned about how you generally come across and you compare yourself to others who you think are super charismatic or inspirational, or you really just have imposter syndrome and think, 'I shouldn't be the one standing up. I feel a bit too self-conscious,' then maybe have a read of that.

But, in the meantime, I will do a plug! The Brand Champion Bootcamp does provide all of the frameworks you need to help you feel in control, so that you can prepare with confidence and begin to enjoy that role where you get to share the thing you love, or the thing you're proud of, or the thing that matters to you in your professional life.

Because you deserve to feel enthusiastic and you deserve to enjoy that opportunity.

But for now, I wish you all the best of luck.